11.17
I’ve heard it said that there are only two kinds of uncles in the world: Awesome, cool uncles, and creepy child molesters. With the way things are going down at Homeland Security, I’m starting to think that they’re trying to cast Uncle Sam as the latter.
I keep seeing more and more articles and information on this new business from the TSA. This is insane. If you’ve not heard anything else about it yet, the TSA has these awesome new backscatter x-ray machines that look right through your clothes to see anything you’ve got strapped on under the cloth. Now, THEY say that it’s not overly revealing or going to expose a person, but… yeah. Check out some of the stuff on youtube. These things can generate some pretty high-resolution images of naked peoples. It’s invasive, and kinda makes me want to tape aluminum foil letters spelling out the fourth amendment under my clothes and walk through one of these scanners.
The next issue that’s upsetting folks is that if you don’t want them taking naked pictures of you, you have to subject yourself to an “enhanced pat-down,” which involves the feeling of breasts and genitals. As one blogger put it, “Kids, do not ever let a stranger touch you. If they try, scream, run away and tell someone immediately. Wait, whoops! Unless it’s government molestation. Then, shaddup.” I mean, it’s not even government sanctioned, but government MANDATED sexual assault. Wasn’t this kinda like why we let the Iraqi parliament hang Saddam? After the aluminum-foil 4th amendment, I might have to go in for the enhanced pat-down, and give some grinding and moaning during the groinage part. You know, to make the experience more interactive for the TSA…
Finally, there’s the medical aspect of all of this. TSA is telling people that there’s no risk to being bombarded, top to bottom, with x-rays. When I go in for a busted wrist, they layer me in sheets of lead-stuff, so that as little of me as possible gets x-rayed, so that kinda tells me that this stuff is not good. The people doing research with/for the TSA is saying that the health risks are “very small.” Very small is not the same as NONE. I’m sorry, but if someone tells me that I’m going to be in a very small traffic accident, or get a very small disease, I’m not going to be a part of what’s going down! Harm is harm, whether it’s tiny or huge.
These new measures from the TSA are no good. It’s invasive, it’s asinine, and can be done a million better ways than what they’re using. The fact that it ONLY targets air travel and not train, ship, or other transportation methods just makes the words of George Carlin resound that much more clearly: “Airport security is just an illusion to make white people feel safe.”